Q. "Some people
insist that a Muslim, while selecting a woman for marriage should not
pay any attention to her physical or facial appearance. He should only
see whether she is a religious woman or not.In this respect a Hadith is
often referred to, wherein the Holy Prophet ( Sallaho Alaihai Wasallam)
is reported to have said, "A woman is married either for her beauty
or for her wealth or for her religious behavior. So you must try to choose
the woman committed to her religion." They argue that the considerations
of beauty and wealth have been condemned in this Hadith, while the consideration
of religion has been confirmed and stressed upon. Please explain whether
this Hadith is authentic and whether the above mentioned point of view
is correct according to this Hadith.
A. The Hadith is authentic, but it does not mean that, when deciding
to marry a woman, her physical appearance cannot be taken into consideration
at all. The purpose of the Hadith is that it should not be the sole consideration.Instead,
her religious attitude should be given due importance. If a woman is very
attractive in her appearance, but she does not care for her religious
obligations or has a rebellious attitude towards them, she should not
be preferred to a less attractive woman whose commitment to Islam is evident
and who observes her religious obligations with sincerity and devotion.However,
if there are two woman, both equally commited to Islam and equally observing
the imperatives of Shariah, then, there is no bar on a Muslim if he prefers
a woman who seems to him more attractive than the other.
In fact, one of the basic objectives of marriage, according to Islamic
teachings, is that the spouses may run a chaste life and may fulfil their
sexual needs with as much satisfaction as may help them refrain from indulging
in an unlawful activity. This objective cannot be achived unless they
like each other, both in their appearance and in their inner qualities.
That is why the spouses have been advised to see each other before entring
into the pledge of marriage. The Holy Prophet ( Sallaho Alaihai Wasallam)
not only allowed one to see the woman whom he wants to marry but emphatically
recommended it for the Muslims. One of his blessed companions once told
him that he had resolved to marry a woman from the Ansar.
The Holy Prophet ( Sallaho Alaihai Wasallam) asked him if he had seen
that woman. When the person replied in the negative, the Holy Prophet
( Sallaho Alaihai Wasallam) said to him: "See her, it will help create
a better union between you" (Tirmidhi) It is obvious that merely
seeing a woman cannot reveal anything about her except physical appearance.
It is, therefore, evident that the appearance of a woman can be a valid
consideration when deciding to merry her. Had it been prohibited to marry
a woman for her beauty (of course, in addition to her inner qualities),
it would have been pointless to see her before marriage. The correct position,
therefore, is that the appearance of a woman is one of the valid considerations
which may be kept in mind when deciding to merry her. But it should not
be the only consideration, nor should it be.
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